Driving in Milano…HOLY @#$%!

All I can say is HOLY @#$%! From now on whenever anyone in the states complains about how people drive, I will laugh in their face!!! I was introduced to Italian driving for the first time last year, I am not a greenhorn here, I was prepared…right? I have never been so wrong in my entire life. As we approached the city of Milano the highway became more and more crowded. Cars were zipping in and out of the thin lanes without warning at 85 Mph…typical behavior… I was calm as a cucumber. Stefano is a very safe and observant driver…I always feel safe when he’s driving…well I used to. When we left the relative safety of the highway and started down the city streets, that’s when the fun REALLY began. Cars the size of gnats were zipping everywhere. In Italy everyone has the right of way simultaneously. Two lane roads spontaneously became three, stop signs were merely a street decoration and parking spaces miraculously appeared and disappeared without warning.

The rules of the road: If no one hits you…you obviously have the right of way…FLOOR IT!!! Never back down, never surrender! He who hesitates does 37 laps in the traffic circle.

There were motorcycles, mopeds and obviously mentally unstable people on bicycles playing chicken in traffic and yelling at you if had the audacity not to see them in your blind spot. I could swear I saw the grim reeper grinning from the back seat several times.

By the time we got to the restaurant my stomach was in knots, my blood pressure was so high my eyeballs were bulging and I don’t think I have ever wanted to guzzle a bottle of vodka so bad in my life. When I complained about the driving conditions to our dinner companions they laughed and shrugged and said “This is nothing…you should drive in Rome.” We are planning a trip to Rome next year and the only mode of public transportation I plan on taking is the train…or perhaps a donkey…but you are NOT getting me in a car!

Well tomorrow we are off to Venice for my big glass adventure! I’m very excited and I can’t wait to blog all about it!

1 thought on “Driving in Milano…HOLY @#$%!

  1. I’m glad to see you two are having a good vacation, thanks for the insight into your trip. I look forward to your next adventure…..

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